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'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' Movie Quotes

By superstar1 on August 6, 2009

Ferris Bueller's Day OffHOLLYWOOD, Calif. — John Hughes, the beloved director behind such 1980s classics as "Sixteen Candles," "The Breakfast Club" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," died Thursday from a heart attack.

Hughes put together a string of popular movies during the '80s and '90s that also included "Mr. Mom," "Vacation," "Weird Science," "Pretty in Pink," "Planes, Trains & Automobiles," "Uncle Buck" and the "Home Alone" franchise.

American Superstar Magazine remembers John Hughes with some memorable movie quotes that will forever keep his spirit alive.

Be sure to also share your own favorite memories in the comments section.

Also, click here to vote for your favorite John Hughes movie in our watercooler poll.

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" Movie Quotes

Ed Rooney: I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.

Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Cameron: How?
Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.

Boy in Police Station: Drugs?
Jeannie: Thank you, no. I'm straight.
Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie: Why are you here?
Boy in Police Station: Drugs.

Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... Its true.
Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas.
Grace: Mmm-hmm.
Ed Rooney: Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body.
Grace: Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.

[On the phone]
Ed Rooney: Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record?
Katie Bueller: I don't understand.
Ed Rooney: He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I've spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year.
Katie Bueller: This is all news to me.
Ed Rooney: It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine times.
Katie Bueller: Nine times?
Ed Rooney: Nine times.
Katie Bueller: I don't remember him being sick nine times.
Ed Rooney: That's probably because he wasn't sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It's a fool's paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path.
Katie Bueller: I can't believe it.
Ed Rooney: I've got it right here in front of me. He has missed nine days...
[His computer screen begins counting down from nine to two. Ferris is at home looking at the same screen]
Ferris: I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?

Ed Rooney: Ed Rooney.
Cameron: [disguising voice as George Peterson] Ed. This is George Peterson.
Ed Rooney: How are you today, sir?
Cameron: [voice disguised] Well, we've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard.
Ed Rooney: Yeah I heard, and man, I'm all broken up, boy, what a blow.
Cameron: [disguised] Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, it's been a tough morning and we got a lot of family business to take care of, so if you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane, I'd appreciate it.
Ed Rooney: Uh, yeah, sure, no I'd be happy to, yeah you, uh, you you just produce a corpse, and uh, I'll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand.
Grace: Ed?
Ed Rooney: It's alright, Grace, it's Ferris Bueller the little twerp. I'm gonna set a trap and let him fall right in it.
Grace: Ooh!
Cameron: [disguised] I'm sorry, Ed, did you say you wanted to see a body?
Ed Rooney: Yeah, that's right, just, uh, roll her old bones on over here, and I'll dig up your daughter. You know that's school policy.
Cameron: [disguised] Oh.
Ed Rooney: Was this your mother?
Cameron: [disguised] Uh, no my wife's mother.
Grace: [picks up ringing phone] Ed Rooney's office.
Ferris: Hi this is Ferris Bueller, can I speak to Mr. Rooney please? Thank you.
Grace: [caught off-guard] Uh... hold.
Ed Rooney: Tell ya what, dipshit. If you don't like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ole' white butt.
Grace: ED!
Ed Rooney: Pucker up butter-cup.
[to Grace]
Ed Rooney: What?
Grace: Ferris Bueller's on line 2.

Boy in Police Station: What's your name?
Jeannie: It's Jean, but most guys call me Shauna.
Boy in Police Station: Okay Jean.

Ferris: If anyone needs a day off, it's Cameron. He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. Can't be wound up this tight and go to college, his roommate will kill him.

Also see:

The Breakfast Club Movie Quotes

Pretty in Pink Movie Quotes

Sixteen Candles Movie Quotes

Vacation Movie Quotes