HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — When it comes to her brother's tragic death, Janet Jackson is convinced his personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is to blame.
"He was the one that was administering [propofol]," the 43-year-old singer tells ABC's Robin Roberts, referring to the powerful anesthetic responsible for Michael Jackson's death. "I think he is responsible."
Murray has long been at the center of a manslaughter investigation into the pop star's June 25 death. While he has admitted to administering propofol to the entertainer, Murray has denied giving anything that would have killed the King of Pop.
In her interview with Roberts, which airs Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET, Jackson describes the moment when she heard about her brother being rushed to the hospital.
"I was at my house in New York. You know, another day. Another morning. And I get a call ... [my assistant] said, 'Your brother's been taken to the hospital. It's on CNN right now,'" she recalls. "I called everyone's. There's a line busy or — someone wasn't picking up. I spoke to mother. I spoke to Tito. I spoke to my nephew Austin. I spoke to my sister La Toya."
"I told them to call me when they got to the hospital. And I remember thinking nobody's calling me back, so I tried calling again, and that's how I found out that he was no longer ... I couldn't believe it," adds Jackson, who says her brother's death 'felt like a dream."
Five months later, Jackson is still struggling with reality but hoping to move forward with strength.
"It's still so difficult for me to believe," she says. "It's, you know, you have to accept what is. But it's hard. You have to move on with your life. You have to accept what is and I understand that."
Jackson also says her brother's public memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles helped her come to terms with reality.
"My brother's favorite song is 'Smile.' And I thought Jermaine sang it beautifully, beautifully," she says. "And that's his favorite song as well. ...There being some sort of a closure, I suppose, at that time."
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