HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — With the one-year anniversary of her ex-boyfriend Heath Ledger's death approaching in January, Michelle Williams is still struggling to cope with her loss.
"It's so sad," the 28-year-old actress tells Newsweek while bursting into tears at the first mention of Ledger's name. "I guess it's always changing… What else can I say?"
It has been a challenging year for Williams following Ledger's death from a prescription overdose. Ledger and Williams started dating in 2005 and were engaged at one point, but broke off their relationship in 2007. They met on the set of "Brokeback Mountain," in which Ledger was nominated for an Oscar. The couple had a daughter during their three-year relationship, 3-year-old Matilda.
"I just wake up each day in a slightly different place," Williams shares. "Grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing'."
"It’s a strange thing to say," she continued with her eyes tearing up, "because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse. That's what I would say."
The interview with Newsweek is to promote her new film "Wendy and Lucy," a story that happens to center around the loss of a best friend. The film was shot shortly after her breakup with Ledger.
"It was a vulnerable time," she tells the magazine. "I felt vulnerable but somehow strong. No, just vulnerable. It was a strange combination of one of the greatest summers of my life and one of the most excruciating summers of my life."
Williams becomes openly upset when asked about dealing with the paparazzi over the course of the last year.
"It burns a fire inside of me, the s––– that I've seen people do to get at me or my daughter," she says. "I won't forget it, and I won't support it. I don't want my daughter growing up feeling spied on or threatened."
Williams is particularly enraged at the female paparazzi, one of whom got a scolding from the former "Dawson's Creek" star.
"I said, 'You're better than this. Look at you! You're young, you're able-bodied, you have a brightness in your eyes. You're above this.' But you know what? She didn't go away," she explains.
Williams is currently in the midst of a year-long break and she's prepared to walk away from acting for good if the paparazzi situation doesn't improve.
"If it gets to the point where I can't situate my life in a way that they stay away more, then I'll drop a match on the thing," she says. "I'll be sad. I like to act. It's saved my life over and over again. It's given me a sense of self-esteem, self-worth. I have this thing that I'm in love with — acting — and now it has this baggage."
- Comment
