HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Mariah Carey is fully aware that the public’s perception of her is somewhere along the lines of a “ditz.”
“It’s a dichotomy, I understand,” Carey reveals in the April issue of Allure magazine. “I understand that people think I am a ditzy moron.”
Carey’s latest track, “Touch My Body,” could well become her 18th No. 1 single — tying her with the Beatles for the most chart-toppers in history. But, despite her success over the years, the best-selling female artist of all time still struggles with her confidence.
“I’ve always had really low self-esteem, and I still do,” says the 37-year-old Grammy winner, who was treated for exhaustion in 2001 after a public meltdown. “What’s weird about that is being onstage, and the love that you get, and the adoration that you feel from your real fans. It’s hard for a partner to compete — just imagine.”
Her “partners” have indeed had a hard time competing over the years. She divorced former Sony Music CEO Tommy Mottola in 1997, saying she felt controlled in the relationship: “I had to make a decision: either lose myself completely or learn to stand up for myself. You have to be very courageous to do that.”
She has since been linked to music executive Mark Sudack, Yankees slugger Derek Jeter and singers Eminem and Luis Miguel. She’s open to getting married again, but Carey says it’s important that her beau is able to comprehend her lifestyle.
“That’s a big deal for me: feeling like somebody else can’t fully understand me because they’re not in show business,” she says. “It shouldn’t matter, but it does, because the energy it takes to be ‘on’ is a lot.”
Carey, whose latest album “E=MC2” will be released April 15, confesses that she’s never had a one-night stand and considers herself a “freakin’ prude.”
“I’m Mary Poppins,” she says. “I’m what the buttoned-up girls are supposed to be.”
