Gather ‘round, dear readers, as Jesse Tyler Ferguson weaves you a tale of gay porn, petty theft and the endurance of fatherly love.
The Modern Family actor recently shared his coming out story on Aisha Tyler’s podcast, and the result was anything but traditional.
Well, I was caught stealing gay porn when I was 14. So, I always considered that my coming-out. … It was so humiliating. I had been stealing porn for a while. I had quite a little collection. And I would bring it into the house, and then I’d get nervous, so I’d hide it under the mattress, or I’d hide it behind a shed in the backyard. And then it would get rained on, and I’d have to go get the barbecue tongs to [get it out].
Finally, the young Ferguson’s five-finger discounts came to an end when an antitheft sensor went off – and his dad got involved.
They brought my dad in, and they showed him the nature of the material I was stealing, and it was really, really humiliating. So I always consider that my coming-out process.
Despite the dramatic coming out, it took years for the married actor’s father to accept the implications of his son’s habitual porn theft.
When I stole the porn it was like, ‘OK, are you gay?’ And I was, like, 14. I didn’t really know. I didn’t know what I was going through. But then in my later teen years I did come out to him, and it was like he needed to be told three times. … [When I was 21] he asked me if I had a girlfriend at the time, and I was like, ‘Dad! You know I’m gay, right?’
Thankfully, Ferguson revealed earlier that his father has come to accept his sexuality – bringing us to our happy ending. And to all New Mexico-based gay porn retailers: you can officially breathe a sigh of relief now!
