HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Michelle Williams sat down with British magazine Wonderland just prior to the death of her former fiancé Heath Ledger, who died from an accidental overdose on Jan. 22 in New York City.
"Obviously so much has changed for me in the last few months that I don't really have and idea of what my life is going to be," the 27-year-old actress reveals in the interview, which is just now hitting newsstands. "I thought I knew certain things and it turned out that I didn't, so I don't really try and anticipate so much anymore. I'm not making any bets on the future."
Williams and Ledger met on the set of the 2005 film "Brokeback Mountain," in which they played husband and wife. A romance quickly blossomed between the two and they eventually had a daughter together, Matilda, now 2. The couple later went their separate ways in September, 2007.
In the interview, Williams talks about her split from Ledger and how her daughter changed her life, among other topics.
On Splitting With Ledger
"When you're in a relationship with somebody who is also a public personality then it doubles the attention from the media. When you minus that equation it's just less enticing. That's been a real bonus. It's the plus side of the break-up for me. It was so pervading, it got bad there for a while. Every time I walk out of the door I still worry. That's what is so silly about it: even if the paparazzi aren't there, you wonder if they are. I'm not good at that stuff. I need to get better at it. It really used to affect me."
On How Motherhood Changed Her
"I feel like I didn't have any relationship with my body before Matilda. Well, I did, but it was just a bad one. After having my daughter I can't judge myself in the same way. My body has done this totally miraculous but utterly ordinary thing. The downside is that my vocabulary has shrunk to the size of a pea. Since having a kid I just don't have the same access to the world. I don't see as many shows, I don't go to many movies and I hardly read any books anymore. I'm lucky to make it through a book a month. So you start to develop in a much more non-verbal way, which can be so frustrating. Also there's been a lot going on in my personal life and part of me is... I don't know. I shouldn't talk about it but it's like I'm re-emerging back into the world or something."
On Balancing Work and Motherhood "It's not easy. Last April I was over in London doing a movie called Incendiary with Ewan McGregor. It's about a woman grieving after losing her husband and son in a terrorist attack. It was a brutal role and arduous: six-day weeks, 14 hour-days. I was like the walking dead towards the end. Matilda would visit me everyday on-set for lunch and I'd race home to put her to bed. My only days off were Sundays and as much as I'd want to pass out, I'd try to take her out somewhere fun so she didn't associate me with boredom. The only time that is really my own these days is after I've put her to bed and until I go to bed. That's about two hours."
On Reports She Skipped Katie Holmes' Wedding "Everybody wants to know that. No, I didn't go because I was working on The Tourist. To be honest, we're not really in touch."
On Monday, Williams returned to shooting the film "Mammoth," which she had been filming in Sweden when Ledger died tragically.
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